The Mindy Project and Weird Conclusions

So, I've been watching The Mindy Project, Mindy Kaling's new show, and mostly I enjoy it. I didn't think I would since the previews made it look like her whole life was about finding a man. And I was sort of right; Mindy can't get it together when it comes to relationships. But it doesn't portray her whole life as falling apart because of this. She's a good doctor and she has a fun relationship with many of her colleagues. So the fact that a large part of her energy is focused on relationships with men doesn't completely bother me, since it's the main part of her life that isn't working the way she wants it to.

But I have to say that the latest episode, "Thanksgiving," kind of disappointed me. For one thing, she spent most of the episode worried about whether or not she and Josh, the guy she's been dating, are exclusive or not. This bothers me mainly because when she met this guy, she didn't like him, and I'm still not sure when he went from being annoying to charming (in her eyes; in mine he's only annoying).

The worst part of the episode had to be Betsy's storyline. She took the British doctor from their practice (honestly, I don't know what his name is) home with her for Thanksgiving. She told him that she doesn't enjoy spending time with her family because they treat her like a child. When they arrive, everyone is given a beer except Betsy; her father hands her a glass of strawberry milk instead. Even her brother, who as far as I could tell was younger than her, got a beer. They also insist that Betsy sing a song about Thanksgiving that she wrote when she was about 4 years old. Betsy gets angry and storms out and British Doctor follows her upstairs.

This is the part of the episode that made me so angry. He talked about getting treated as an adult too early and not having a childhood. He says that being treated like a child isn't the worst thing in the world. And the episode ends with Betsy, twenty-something adult Betsy, singing her weird, childish turkey song to her whole family.

WHAT?!?! The moral of this story is let your family treat like you a child for your whole life? Really?

I understand that families aren't easy to deal with, and everybody has something about their family that they'd prefer to hide or never talk about. And some families have a hard time communicating with each other. But are we really saying it's better to get treated like a child every time you go home for a holiday than to attempt to sit down and have an adult conversation with your parents and siblings?

This week, you disappointed me, The Mindy Project. I don't expect all my feminist dreams and needs to be met by this one show, but I would expect a show written by a smart, capable woman, and about smart, capable women, to understand that adult women being treated like children is not okay. The idea that women need other people making decisions for them ("You don't want a beer, you want strawberry milk") is what gives us anti-woman legislation ("You don't really want an abortion, you just need to hear your baby's heartbeat first").

I'm paying attention, The Mindy Project. Let's get it together.

Cards and Candidates, or, Keep Talking

Ahhh! Election day!!

I found myself at a card game last night with several Mitt Romney supporters. While I mostly stayed out of the politics conversation, other than predictions about who would win, I found myself wishing I had spoken more. This was a group of mostly men who are older than I am, and who I don't know very well. There was one other woman there, probably about my age, and a couple of guys around my age. The rest were older, established men who I'm pretty sure are all wealthy. Wealthy Mississippi businessmen voting for Romney? I'm not surprised. And I wasn't insulted, and I didn't really feel like talking about the election. We were all nervous, no one was 100% confident in their candidate's victory, and I just wanted to play poker.

But I do wish I had brought up a couple of things. I wish I had pointed out that I can not, can not, vote for someone who wants to overturn Roe v. Wade. I can not vote for someone who has supported/still supports personhood. I can not vote for someone who says they are for small government, but thinks it is OK to for legislators (or employers!) to make decisions about a woman's healthcare coverage. I can not vote for someone who refuses to come out with a stance on fair pay for women.

I don't wish I had made these points because I think I would have changed any minds. I don't wish I had gotten the table into a heated debate. But I do wonder what these men would have said when faced with a young woman legitimately concerned about her future in a Romney administration. I wonder what their reactions would have been to my concern about my place in the world, financially and socially, with extreme Republicans in control. I do think that these issues do not cross the minds of these men often, and I wish I had seen their reactions when forcing them to think about, even for a second, my side, a woman's side.

So today, on election day, don't be afraid to talk. Even if everyone has already voted, even if you're exhausted, these issues are important and we need to talk about them. Always.