The Abortion Issue, or, Why I Still Love Grey's Anatomy

I just finished watching last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy. And here is why I still love it:

Cristina had an abortion at the beginning of this season. She didn't want to have kids. She told her husband (a little late, but they did rush into their marriage in about 12 hours) that she didn't want kids. Meredith explained to Owen what it felt like to be the child of someone who doesn't want kids. And so Owen agreed to the abortion, and held his wife's hand through the procedure.

So that's it, right? The show took the feminist path, proclaimed all things wonderful in the land of choice, and we move on.

Nope.

Because even though I do think it was a bold, feminist move to show a character having an abortion, and having one because she chose to, not because of rape or a risky pregnancy, it would also do the show (and the real-life situation of abortion) a great injustice to move on without this having any effects.

In the past few episodes, Owen has begun voicing his problems with the abortion. He yelled at Cristina that she "killed" their baby. And in this latest episode, they are in couples' counseling. And this is where I think the show is really thriving. Cristina explains that not everyone wants kids, that some people just don't want kids, that she wasn't abused, she wasn't "mugged by a baby," she just doesn't want kids. And Owen keeps insisting that everyone wants kids, that she'll change her mind when it's too late and regret her decision. And, more importantly I think, he keeps asking her to at least see his side, to understand, which she can't do. Personally, I think she can't do it because seeing his side would mean the relationship has to end; they can't meet each other's needs anymore, and I think they know it but won't admit it. (Ahh! It's so stressful!) But she also can't see his side because she knows that, even with all the terrible after-effects, abortion was the right choice for her.

This is real life. Abortion, even when chosen, is not easy. Marriage and relationships are not easy. The decision to not have children can be a huge deal-breaker for a relationship (which is where I'm afraid Cristina and Owen are headed, but I haven't seen this week's episode yet; nobody say anything!). Cristina and Owen are two very real, well-developed characters who have very real and conflicted emotions about abortion, children and relationships.

This is what I wish people who see abortion in black and white would see. Pro-choice activists do not want women everywhere to have abortions. We want to reduce the abortion rate (alone with the infant mortality rate, the unintended pregnancy rate, and the teen pregnancy rate). But we also want to reduce the number of women who die from illegal and dangerous abortions. We want to reduce the number of unwanted children in this world. We want to reduce the number of women whose lives were completely derailed because of an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. We don't think abortion is easy. We don't think abortion is light-hearted. We don't think it's a spontaneous decision made in the blink of an eye.

We know that abortion is a difficult choice to make. We don't envy anyone making that choice.

But we also will not take that choice away. Because, for many women, it is ultimately the right choice.

Cristina Yang and the Right to Choose

This week I had my wisdom teeth taken out. Why is this important? Well, because I had a lot of free time. As a result, I have now watched the entire seventh season of Grey's Anatomy. And an issue came up in the final episodes that really hit home for me. *WARNING: spoilers ahead if you haven't finished season 7.*

Cristina and Owen have recently gotten married. After the wedding they realize they have a major problem: Owen wants kids, Cristina doesn't. And in the final episode, Cristina finds out that she's pregnant. When she and Owen can't agree, she goes ahead and makes an appointment for an abortion.

I've written before about the choice to remain childless, and I'm not going to repeat that argument. Instead, I'd like to discuss how the show portrayed this situation.



Cristina has always said that she doesn't want children. Owen says to her that she might change her mind, that they can revisit the idea in a few years. And then, when he learns of her pregnancy, he's excited. He begs her to reconsider, to take time and think it over. Cristina, however, will not budge.

The way Cristina argues for her side is what really impressed me. She says, over and over, "I don't want to be a mother." It's not that she's not capable; it's just not something she wants for her life. She says, "I'm not a monster; if I had a baby I would love it." Owen asks her to compromise with him. She points out that this decision is not like choosing pizza or pasta for dinner. She says that this is a part of her and she cannot compromise.

I really love the way she sticks to what is important for her. She is, as Owen points out, in a partnership. There are two people with two voices and opinions that have to be heard and considered. However, she sees parenting as too big of a decision to enter into as a compromise. Ultimately, she would be compromising her body, her life, her career; she is not willing do that for another person, even the person she loves.

I'm glad that she show is portraying a woman who wants control over her body and her life without putting her in tragic circumstances. It's so easy to argue for "right to choose" by bringing up victimes of rape or incest who have become pregnant. Cristina is not a victim. Her health is not endangered by the pregnancy. She's capable of carrying a pregnancy to term and raising a child. She simply does not want to. And this, in my opinion, is why we fight for the right to choose. It's the right to control your own life. It's the right to space your children how you want to, the right to put off parenting until later, the right to not be a parent at all.

In the next few posts, I'm going to be discussing an issue that's directly related to this. On November 8, in Mississippi, we will be voting on Initiative 26. If passed, the initiative will define a person's life as beginning at the moment of conception. This could have all sorts of repercussions, beyond the obvious of making abortion illegal. It could also get rid of birth control, in vitro fertilization, and could even lead to women who suffer miscarriages being charged with murder or manslaughter. I plan to look at how women's reproductive rights have gotten stripped away since the 1973 passing of Roe v. Wade, and the serious consequences we face if we don't fight back now.

Check back in the next few weeks for more!


**Update (with spoilers!): I just watched the first two episodes of the current season (thank you hulu!) and Cristina does have the abortion, and Owen stands by her. The story was brilliantly done: Meredith tries to explain to Owen what it's like to be the unwanted child of a surgeon, and Owen understands that he fell in love with Cristina for who she is and not who he wants her to be. The best part was that the writers allowed Cristina to be sad, even when making the decision she knows is right. Because it is sad. Knowing that you should have an abortion doesn't mean it's an easy thing to do, especially when your partner wants the child. Anyway, I won't write more about it, because Feministing already covered it beautifully, but I just wanted to update this post.