Abstain From Abstinence-Only Education!!

I was aware before the past few days that a lot of sex education in our country is really just abstinence-only education, but until I started reading a new book, I was completely unaware of the horrible misconceptions (as well as outright lies) about sex that abstinence-only education is spreading.

In the book The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women, Jessica Valenti explores many aspects of sexuality and how it is presented to women and young girls. She discusses the idea that virginity doesn't exist (a very intriguing idea, more on this later), and the virginity movement that's gaining popularity in this country which asks young girls to pledge their virginities (often done as a pledge to their fathers, who then take control and protection over their virginity until the time comes to pass that job on to their husbands). But what I found most interesting tonight was the chapter on abstinence-only education.

Abstinence-only education not only prohibits any positive discussion of contraceptives, it also grossly exaggerates contraception failure rates and tells children that contraceptions can harm or even kill you. (Yes, kill.) These educational classes teach children that sex is a shameful and dirty act that will ruin your life. They teach that men have natural, uncontrollable sex drives which women have to control (because, you know, men have no control over their own bodies and actions, and women have no sexual desire of their own). They teach that a woman who has lost her virginity before marriage is now 'damaged goods' (yes, still talking about women in terms of property!). Do they mention alternative ways for teens to deal with their growing desires, such as masturbation? No! Do they mention that sex can be pleasurable or intimate or an active, consensual choice? Of course not! That might get those kids thinking that sex is good.

Oh, there's one other thing that abstinence-only education does. It fails. There is NO evidence that children taught abstinence-only are less likely to have sex; in fact, the only thing they are less likely to do is use protection when they are having sex. Abstinence-only education is sending confusing messages (Sex is bad!...Until you're married. Then it's suddenly good! But only if you make babies!) and then putting teens out into the world without any knowledge of their bodies, their desires or how to protect themselves.

I personally feel like a victim of this system, and I don't even recall sitting through an abstinence-only class (though I might have; I know I don't remember anything from health class). As embarrassing as it is, I was not aware that women did, or really even could, masturbate (I didn't think about it much, but again, that's because no one ever talked to me about it). I'm not kidding. This is a huge part of sexuality that I was completely unaware of. Also, until I entered into my first relationship at the age of 21, I still somewhat believed the myths that women don't really want to have sex that much; it's just something that they do for men, who want it all the time. I was completely disconnected from any desires I might have, because I had been taught that girls simply don't have desire. Luckily, I haven't ended up pregnant or sick because of my lack of sexual education, but many teens do. And I still feel angry about all the years I spent thinking that my body was something from which my mind should always be detached, and that sex was a dirty, painful thing that I would one day be stuck dealing with.

The most disturbing part to me (it's hard to actually choose a most disturbing part out of all of this, but this is mine for the moment) is that this education is federally funded. Federal dollars are going toward teaching teenagers lies, actual lies, about their bodies and their desires. The governing body of this country is supporting programs that misrepresent medical facts. This is what we need to abstain from.