Finally! Obama's Support of Gay Marriage

Today the Internet is buzzing about Obama coming out (no pun intended) in support of gay marriage. In an interview with ABC (the full interview has not actually aired but this clip has been released), Obama talks about the "evolution" of his views on gay marriage.

Now, we all know why he is announcing this today. This week, Joe Biden said publicly that he was "absolutely comfortable" with gay marriage, an announcement that Obama staffers began trying to correct, putting it more in line with Obama's support-of-equality-falling-just-short-of-marriage-to-toe-the-political-line platform. The Chicago Tribune writes,

While the White House claimed the remarks were essentially a restatement of the president’s position, it was obvious they were everything the president's stance was not: open and clear.

After Joe Biden's statements were praised, and the Obama campaign's obvious efforts to dial them back seemed to prove that the President was still unwilling to take the next step in declaring support for America's LGBT activists and communities, there was really only one thing he could do: go ahead and support marriage equality already. So he did.

And I'm glad he did. I know it came from political pressure, but so what? How many people do you think there are that really backed his support-of-equality-falling-just-short-of-marriage-to-toe-the-political-line platform who are suddenly freaking out and running to Mitt Romney's open arms? I'm guessing not very many. And I'm disappointed that it took him this long to make this declaration, since his toeing of the line was such a lame, copout way of handling a divisive issue in our country.

So the question is, does this change anything? Not really; not yet. As I said, I'm pretty sure that no one thought Obama would ever back up and go the other way on gay marriage. He repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell; he's often discussed the importance of civil unions and equal rights in all aspects of life for homosexual, bisexual and transgender individuals and couples. No one is surprised by his full-support statement (just surprised it took us this long to get here). But will he take this support he's declaring and use it to push legislation in favor of marriage equality? I don't know. But I hope so. Because if he doesn't, he's just making a meaningless declaration...much like Michael Scott on The Office:

So, President Obama, please don't just declare your support of marriage equality.

Do all you can to make it happen.

The M-Word

Recently, I was talking to a friend about legalizing gay marriage and she said something that absolutely blew my mind. "Marriage should only be something that churches grant. All couples should legally get civil unions."

Now that may sound revolutionary, because in a way it is. It changes the entire way we think about what marriage is. But, going back to the basics, marriage is a sacrament granted by the (Christian) church. It existed as a holy sacrament before it existed as a legal contract. If the word marriage had never entered into the legal realm, the gay marriage argument would be totally different (or wouldn't exist) today. After all, about eleven states recognize civil unions between same-sex couples already. If marriage as a religious institution had been historically kept separate from the legal institution, I think the problem with same-sex unions would be much smaller today. Most people who actively oppose same-sex marriage do so on the basis of religion, with the argument that "Marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman." But if we acknowledged marriage as purely a religious choice and nothing more, then this argument wouldn't stand, because you could choose marriage or not, and you could find a church that would perform your marriage. Same-sex couples wanting marriage could find an accepting church and priest that would perform their marriage (there are plenty out there); on the other hand, for any couples for whom religion is not important, the civil union side would provide all the legal rights and would simply exist outside of the church's recognition.

Would this solve all discrimination against homo-, bi- and transsexuals? Of course not. But it would go a long way toward true equality, in which all couples looking to start lives together would have the same life-joining choices before them.

Plus, this is very idealistic. There's no way to change the language that has existed in our country and in our constitutions for years upon years. And there's no easy way to change the cultural perception of what marriage is or is not, because it's based upon our cultural history that can't be erased.

I do think, however, that discussing our marriage equality issues in these terms can provide a new way of thinking about them. If we want true marriage equality in this country, it won't be just a matter of allowing marriage for same-sex couples. It will have to be by changing our perception of marriage and reevaluating how it works or doesn't work for all couples.